mothsbee

deinfluencing myself from spending more money on dumb shit

like my last post, ive been slowly stumbling back into my shopping addiction as a form of coping with Current World Events. and one of the ways that i think may help me is if i try to “deinfluence” myself before buying shit. in other words, use critical reasoning instead of just hitting submit order for seretonin. at this rate i may as well code up a fake shopping site for me to dick around in or some shit.

actually. that may not be a bad idea. a fake shopping site where you “buy” stuff from it. like obviously fake shit. and you and others could make funny reviews.

thatd be fun. anyway

i have such a ridiculous relationship with coach. theres the mixed emotional baggage involved with it being my mother’s favorite brand, mixed with my love for how their leather feels when work in, mixed with how cute some of their shit is, mixed with how fairly easy it can be to find them in the used marketplaces…

… mixed with the fact that i NEVER fit in their shoes. ever. none of them. ive worn so, so many over the years. whether purchased myself or stolen from my mom (while i fit them - despite being larger than me she comfortably wears a size 6 regular width)

like, I wear an 8.5 wide. coach barely makes half sizes half the time, let alone wides. like, shit, they dont even make standard widths. its all narrow (B) sizing!! i dont care how cute the waverly pumps are. those aren’t going to fit. ever. dont fucking bother. no, the stretcher you bought off amazon wont work. they didnt even work for the shoes you have already.

same shit applies to other shoes too - the doc martens with the little heart and flower buckles are INSANELY cute but without fail every time i try them on in store, they really awful. terrible. disgusting. hate wearing them. theyre so narrow and tight and stiff and a bad time all around. at that point just search out a cobbler, buy your own hardware and spend all the cash you wouldve spent gambling on poshmark on some shoes youd actually wear and take care of

but that involves the willpower of not spending your fucking money

listen. accessorizing is fun! and i will admit my accessory game is kind of lacking. i can see the thought process. i can see the reasoning. but also, like, where are you wearing this. to work? to the mall to ogle at lush products for 45 minutes, get sensory overloaded and cry in the bathroom? also like, silk scarves are almost always dry clean only. the last time i ever went to a dry cleaners there was a radioshack still open next door to it. like, an actual radioshack, not the desecrated nonsense it is now. and i KNOW my ass is not spending a shit ton of money buying new silk scarves - at MAX id seek out a designer outlet and maybe try my luck finding one there. any silk scarves, no matter how cute, are boutta be stanky.

YOU ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT CARE IF “oh im actually into makeup again this time ill use it :)” NO YOU WONT!!!! USE THE TWO PAT MCGRATHS YOU BOUGHT FOREVER AGO. ITS POWDER. IT WILL NOT GO BAD FOR A MILLENNIA. ITS ALWAYS GOING TO BE A BETTER FORMULA THAN WHATEVER NONSENSE HAS CAUGHT YOUR EYE AT ULTA. YES, EVEN THE NEW PAT MCGRATHS. I THINK THEY REFORMULATED AND ITS BAD NOW. AND THEY DONT MAKE ANYTHING FUN ANYMORE ANYWAY. JUST USE YOUR OLD EYESHADOW.

especially if its like. real colorful stuff. like girl, 95% of your wardrobe is shit you wear at work. because the only time youre ever out in public is AFTER WORK. you do not need that sparkly multichrome clionadh eyeshadow because you will never wear it outside your bedroom.

likewise. cream/liquid anything makeup thats not eyeliner (the shit i actually use). forbidding myself from buying anything fullsize thats cream/liquid has been incredibly limiting yet a godsend because i can actually use up and pan/empty miniatures. especially especially concealer types. if i want foundation, its gotta be a powder. anything else will go bad before i make a dent out of it. yes it included the rare beauty blush that everyone loves. if you want it so bad, get a sample.

also!!!! lip makeup in particular. girl you have lip focused dermatophagia. the only thing you should be putting on there is blistex. and if you can stop yourself from tearing your lips apart you can graduate to tinted balms. but nothing beyond that. no. absolutely not.

DO YOUR OTHER HOBBIES. NO YOU SHOULD NOT GET INTO OOAK DOLL MAKING BECAUSE ITS AN INSANELY EXPENSIVE HOBBY. I DONT CARE HOW COOL IT IS OR HOW YOULL JUST ONCE RECOGNIZE THAT YOURE A PRETTY ALRIGHT ARTIST. DO NOT SPEND ANY MORE MONEY ON HOBBIES.

if i want more art supplies, go buy watercolor paper. thats like the #1 hobby thing you actually want to spend money on. go buy that. not a lot of 20+ dolls off ebay that you’ll inevitably forget about and shove into a corner of your closet.