Briefly: Girlfriend
It’s funny, how much could happen in two years.
I remember when we tried asking eachother out. It was so silly! She would you “only if you wanna,” and I’d go, “only if you wanna,” and we’d just go back and forth ad infinitum.
I remember the little Discord dates we’d have. I walked to Giant Eagle and got some shitty grocery store sushi, and she would make fun of me for not holding my chopsticks right. I eventually got it.
I remember the hours we’d spend together on online games. I know I drove her nuts playing dress up every chance I got. It meant spending more time with her.
I remember the Christmas gift box she sent me. Those little cookies didn’t last long at all. I still have that gift box, somewhere. Everything is still in my heart.
I remember when she was finally given the OK for estrogen. How happy she was to finally take steps towards becoming her. We hadn’t even met yet, but even beyond the screen I could feel her smile beam.
I remember how proud she was (and still is!) when her boobs came in. I remember how self-conscious she got about it, too. That anxiety that they “wouldn’t end up right”. But she was wrong - they would come out right. Because they’re hers! Plus, she ended up getting big enough to wear my old bras. The comfiest fuckers I’ve ever worn! Can’t get that in a 44C. Lucky bitch.
I remember the night I landed in Phoenix for the first time, and hugging her. I remember the second time, and hugging her. I hug her every day of the month.
I remember all the little comments she made about herself. How her body wasn’t “turning out right”. But the thing is, I also feel that way! I was never “womanly shaped”, whatever that means, either. And I’m AFAB! But that’s the thing - I’m “me” shaped, and she’s “she” shaped. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Everything we’ve done together - the little shopping dates, those nights we’d try to dress up and I’d show her tricks I found off Pinterest, the one-in-a-blue-moon times I’d actually remember to teach her how to do her makeup, the nights we’d curl up in bed and play video games and say dumb gay shit - mean the world to her. And they mean the world to me, too.
I love you, Annie. Happy anniversary.